in the New York Times — "Everyone Is Gay on TikTok" — informs us the latest trend in social media is watching young men kissing and caressing online. There is nothing new about this, of course, people have been watching porn on the net for a long time -- in fact I would suggest that porn is the reason for the internet. No one talks about the ubiquitous world of digital porn, though, they just watch it in secret. And I mean not just hard core porn — I mean every time you click on a photo of a celebrity in a bathing suit. We like digital technology because it is a very private and titillating place to view photographs of naked people; the fact that it does our banking is a necessary and ultimately regrettable side effect. Period. But all that aside, this ‘new’ TIkTok trend is technically not porn. This is young straight men posting photos and videos of themselves spooning, necking and caressing other young men. These photos and videos get a lot of clicks. (Duh!) As well they should. The young men are beautiful and we live in a youth centred culture. As usual, the subtext of this article is ‘things are getting better.’ The story goes: 'Many years ago everyone was so homophobic! Straight boys would never have thought of posting pictures of themselves playing around sexually! Now, times have changed! Young men think it’s trendy to be gay!' This is a stinky pile of bull crap. People love to imagine how much better things have gotten for gay men since gay marriage — and gay men are the worst ‘Pollyannas’ of all — as their culture disappears, and young gay men mainline their lives away in an alarming gay crystal meth epidemic, gay men continue to insist we are just like straight people, and 'Hey, we even vote Conservative!' We are complicit in the denial of homophobia, so it just goes on and on. But why isn’t it true that things have gotten better for gays and lesbians since gay marriage? Well, they have gotten mildly better, yes. However, though can change the law you can't change the human heart. Civil rights legislation ultimately makes things worse. It the reason for the appalling racism that is consuming America today. (Just as Roe vs. Wade is responsible for the present fierce, activist opposition to abortion). I am not opposed to legalizing gay marriage, or legalizing abortion, or civil rights for people of colour. But though legislation may temporarily open a few doors to the unfortunate victims of hate and prejudice, there are many who will not let a little thing like the law change their minds. They know what they think — or rather what they believe — and are deeply, intuitively, and emotionally attached to their hate. Okay, if people are still homophobic, don’t these TIkTok games at least open up a tiny window for tolerance? Um, no. It’s important to remember that these boys are categorically not gay; that’s the whole point. The little games they are playing are akin to all the straight boys -- a few years ago -- who would hug their best friends -- or even kiss them on the cheek -- and spout -- ‘No homo!’ Straight guys can get away with any sort of horseplay if the unstated agreement is that they are not gay. Professional sports are based on this premise; as is straight male culture in general. Eve Sedgwick calls it ‘the homosocial.’ Straight men love each other, bond with each other, and touch each other, with the subtextual agreement that all of this does not threaten their sexuality because they are not gay. I am not saying all men are gay; but Kinsey talked about ‘the spectrum’ — still very threatening to people — that most of us are bisexual. That does not mean that we all have sex with both genders, but that most of us are capable of being turned on by same sex as well as heterosexual antics, but that doesn't mean we want to act on those desires. However, our culture demands labels: are you gay or not? Are you transgender, or transexual? Are you genderqueer, or non-binary? What are you exactly, and why? Fitting into these categories is all that’s required; the spectre of the spectrum is conveniently forgotten. Anyway, these TikTok boys are never going to have real sex with each other (or at least if they do, they are never going to admit it). It’s like Madonna pretending to be a lesbian — and it's why the closeted Cindy Crawford campaigned to have a photo of herself shaving K.D. Lang on the cover of Vanity Fair. It’s all bout the ‘clicks.’ The important thing to remember is that for us fags and dykes sex is a serious issue. It’s important to us. If it wasn’t we wouldn’t endure the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune, the difficulty of getting anywhere important career-wise if we are out, and if we do get somewhere, like I have (yes I am ’privileged,’ and yes I admit it) — being condescended to. (When I tell people I have a Ph.D. they often say ‘good for you!’ The subtext is ‘wow, you’re a promiscuous drag queen and yet you managed to get a Ph.D.!’) When I say we are ‘serious about sex' I mean sex means a lot to us; it’s a central part of our lives. This is why ‘trans’ is winning the battle of public opinion right now, over ‘gay' — because by definition gays and lesbians admit that sex is important to them. Being gay means — sorry you adorable TikTok boys! — getting down on your knees and sucking dick and getting screwed up the ass by a big fat you-know-what. It’s not about kissing and hugging — though that’s nice too (straight sports figures and lots of Italians have been doing that in public for eons) and though those photos are lovely to look at, this particular sad old faggot is not impressed.
