War Nurse (1930)
I will not make it to the end because a friend interrupted me, but what is it with TCM showing War Nurse and The Body Disappears? Well somebody’s thinking, and therefore so must I. This film has lots to offer. The dialogue is pretty filthy, and there’s Zazu Pitts (who I knew from the 1950s sitcom My Favourite Margie) who has a very funny face. I identify with Zazu because when the nurses first get to the French ‘hospital’ which they have to clean and set up themselves, all of which they do with admirable pluck (War Nurse was co-written by a woman — Becky Gardiner — look her up, she was one of the few female writers in Hollywood ,and most likely knew a lot about pluck) and some girl is screaming about the rats, Zazu makes a funny face and says “I have wonderful pets like that at home, they swarm all over me.” It’s a pre-Hays code move so they can get away with murder. But as a gay man and a slut who somehow lived through the AIDS crisis I’d love to say ‘hey calm down about this Coronavirus shit, I’ve had rats all over me.’ But I know I shouldn’t, so I won’t. But there are incredibly poignant scenes, like when a solder is writhing in agony and a nurse hurries to his side and then goes away to get a doctor, and then the soldier dies, and she just says — ‘Il est parti’ (she’s a French nurse). There are two couples: Robert Montgomery/June Walker (the nice, not too attractive couple), and Robert Ames/Anita Page (the cursed n’er do well blondes). But I am so angry that people are going on about how ‘Coronavirus is like a war!” Well after seeing War Nurse — I have to say, it’s not. Because why did all these nurses go to France? Was it to help, was it heroism, was it goodness of the heart? Were they of-one-mind with all the Coronavirus altruists who say ‘stay at home and stay alive?” No sir— they went to France to get laid. At the beginning of the movie, all the soon-to-be-nurses are sitting decked in furs, smoking and having cocktails (I told you it was pre-Code) and when one of them argues “it’s not our place to go to France,’ another intones: “With five million men out there — it’s our place, darling!” And the central moral dilemma of the movie is whether or not June Walker (who is a nice girl) is going to give in to Robert Montgomery’s advances. She endlessly resists with smart quips until they are in a bombing raid and then finally she relents and kisses him, and does God knows what else. But we know what else. After all, when the ugly ex-teacher nurse with glasses (early on in the film she asks one of the pretty girls ‘do you think they’d take me?’ — and you know it’s a laugh line) refuses to go to the wartime dance in France, one of the other ‘prettier’ girls says “It’s better to walk home alone then never to have been able to take a ride at all.” These are very wise words. I like to think Becky Gardiner wrote them, as they certainly exemplify my philosophy of life. No it was completely different in wartime. The ever present danger meant everyone was devoted to screwing and realising themselves. All the modern civil rights movements — feminism, anti-racism and gay rights — got their start in World War II. It was the opposite of social distancing. And in World War II everyone was encouraged to get out of the house and go to movies, because the powers-that-be realised everyone needed an escape. A friend of mine told me about her mother who was a little girl during World War II. All she had to look forward to was the movies. But she was a poor kid and didn’t have any money, so she would stand in front of the movie theatre and beg people to give her change. And people would give her money, because she was cute and pitiful. But the movie ended after curfew so these kids ran home along the railway tracks. Yeah. So that’s about as unlike our situation as anything I can think of — the danger of war gives us all permission to only live once and have sex and escape to the movies. No so much now with coronavirus. I can’t tell you anything more about War Nurse because my friend came over and interrupted the movie. But I looked up the end on Wikipedia. There’s lots of melodrama after the kiss in the car (isn’t there always?). Of course Anita Page doesn’t end up with Robert Ames because they are both bad blondes, so he has to die. But June Walker does end up with Robert Montgomery after he is freed at the last minute from a prisoner of war camp. Is that what is going to happen to us? Will someone free us? That’s what I was talking about with my friend, but then he had to go, and now once again I’m kinda alone, and bored out of my friggin’ mind.
