Thursday 9 September 2021

The New Normal



1. If you are a disabled person you will have to stand up. There are no seats anymore for the disabled. They increase COVID-19 infection.

2. The people behind the counter at Starbucks will all be fat, and will have green hair (sometimes blue).

3. When you go to buy something, if you are wearing a mask, they will ask you to speak louder. When you do, they will say “There’s no need to shout!”

4. You will lose many friends. Some will hate you because you don’t follow the same COVID-19 rules they do. Some will commit suicide due to mental illness, exacerbated by COVID-19. Others will die of opioid abuse. It is better that you do not talk about these  deaths as they are not as important as deaths from COVID-19.

5. Anit-vaxxers should be denied entry anywhere — and they should be forced to be vaccinated. YOU MUST HATE THEM. They of course should not be treated by hospitals, and it really would be better if somebody shot them.

6. Everything the government says is true. If you challenge the government, you are evil.

7.  No illness is as important as COVID-19.

8. If your aunt or uncle dies of cancer — because there were no hospital beds due to COVID-19  --  it’s better if you don't talk about that either.

9. Nothing is anybody’s fault.

!0. No worries!