Saturday, 2 June 2012

June Mini Reviews (some of these movies are actually good…)

Okay this one’s not good. But it’s interesting to see that a Sasha Baron Cohen movie is not as funny when he’s not being cruel to innocent bystanders by tricking them into being in his film. What does that mean?

Indie Game
Sublime -- I mean I don’t know what to say. The movie was about me and other people I know. Fucked up lonely creative people yearning to be loved, and so they lock themselves in their rooms and create.
Double wow.

The Intouchables
Another perfect movie. And it’s gay! Paraplegic Man Hires Young Gay Stud to have sex with him via his ears! Of course at the end they show the Paraplegic Man having dinner with a woman but it’s only so audiences won’t feel guilty about enjoying the love between two men -- one white, the other black, one legless and and the other with three!

Edwin Boyd
Scott Speedman I love you and I want to have sex with you! Especially now that I know you are actually an amazing actor who looks unbelievably gorgeous in drag.
Will you love me back! 
(ps and when?)

This one was okay until I figured out it was about another sad, effeminate, gay man who also happens to be a killer. Bernie is kinda like Luka Rocco Magnotta before he lost the weight. And we all know that until Luka’s disgusting trial is over we’re going to have to put up with Christie Blatchford and every other idiot wondering: “Did his tragic failure as a gay male porn actor cause him to do it?” Gee whiz -- I’m a tragic failure as a gay male porn actor but I never killed anyone.