Thursday, 12 July 2012

Mini-Reviews: Five Fabulous New Gay Movies For July!!!!!!

OMG. This is the gayest movie ever made! No wonder the reviews were so horrible! It’s all about two gorgeous guys -- a butch top and a fem bottom -- who fall in love and decide to involve an unfortunate woman in their relationship as a beard. But it’s really about THE TWO OF THEM! And THEY ARE THE SAVAGES!!!!!
You’ve got to see it, man.

Let’s see. There’s Marky Mark’s naked butt, which is delicious and just, well ….he’s in love with a bear and he can’t seem to get married. Need I say more?

Dark Horse
A gay guy made this and even though it’s not about a gay couple it IS a bout a nerdy man who lives with his parents and can’t get married (yet another one) and he has fantasies about a dominatrix who is kinda like his mother.  Oh, and like, Mia Farrow is in it. (Duh!)
What could be gayer?

Magic Mike
People are falling all over themselves to say how ‘insubstantial’ this movie is. No…not like um…Men in Black! I’m sorry but there is so much fabulous male semi-nudity in this move that……well.….case closed.

Moonrise Kingdom
Okay there’s nothing gay about this movie except it’s VERY campy and it’s also PRO SEX and ANTI-AUTHORITY so I hereby define this movie as gay!
So there.