Sunday 30 August 2020

It’s a masterful lie.

And by that I don’t mean it’s not the truth — because after all everything is a lie. If you think that, it’s easier to live. You won’t be as discouraged when things change, when you change, when things go away, and when you go away. If everything is true there is betrayal; if everything is a lie then you won’t ever be betrayed. It’s necessary to mostly believe the present lie that you are living in, the lie you need; there’s nothing wrong with that. And it’s quite natural. In fact the more deceived you are, the better. But you must never deceive yourself to the point that you abandon the notion that everything is a lie. I’m talking about COVID-19 — as well as about life — and particularly about the newest and most beautiful lie about COVID-19 that has  recently been manufactured. And you mustn’t blame science for changing it’s mind. That’s what science does. A thing is only true until the next research is done. Then another ‘truth’ takes its place. This is frustrating, because we take science for truth, and indeed we must, because what else can we do? Well perhaps we should take it as art, as the lie that tells the truth. Science is certainly artful in its rhetoric; its persuasion. COVID-19 is described in the most serious terms, it is about life and death; we ignore it at our peril. And of course, everyone wants to live. And COVID-19 nurtures the very attractive lie that it is possible to live forever, for never has death seemed so much an unecessary tragedy. Even when your 95 year old parents die — surrounded by family — people who have lived long (some might say very long) and fulfilling lives, their deaths become, within the COVID-19 paradigm —  inscrutable, cruel, a veritable knife in the heart. Why, oh why, did they have to go? Previously we might have thought— ‘Well they were in their 90s, perhaps it was their time.’ Now we know the responsibility doubtless lies with a thoughtless teenager in Florida, cavorting on the beach — and later cavorting in a bar — blithely laughing and performing karaoke as if there was no tomorrow — kissing her many boyfriends irresponsibly — and God knows what else! What had once been unfathomable becomes someone’s fault. And most reassuringly, it is the fault of the kind of person we never cared for much anyway -- and were eternally suspicious of -- a beautiful, carefree young person  — one who is much more beautiful than we are, and likely having much more fun. Mark Twain said a lie could circle the world while the truth was putting on its shoes. It’s very difficult to come to terms with the notion that we might die at any time, senselessly, for no discernible reason. Most of us never come to truly understand accept -- or simply just believe -- this incredible fact. But the notion that the person responsible for our deaths is a vain, heartless teenager who thinks only of herself (somehow it seems more satisfying to imagine the culprit as female — don't you think?) makes perfect sense. But this is not the COVID lie I am talking about. (After all, there are so many!) The nearly perfect lie is the notion of ‘aerosol.’ You may be confused by the term — I was confused when I first heard of ‘aerosol transmission.’ (But that’s another thing science loves to do, play with language, making it one of the most artful of all the ‘living arts’!) The word ‘aerosol’ is both mystifying and exciting. It brings to mind the image of a can of air freshener, which if contained COVID germs would be very frightening indeed. And we had just come to understand the notion of ‘droplets’ — through those eloquent yet terrifying animated images of the ‘fomites’ ejected from a simple cough or sneeze. But this theory of aerosol transmission supplants all previous ones. ‘Aerosol transmission’ means COVID is simply in the air. How horrifying! Hasn’t everyone been working very hard? Haven’t we waited patiently as waiters, clerks and sundry service staff disinfect surfaces to make them ‘safe’? But now it turns out we needn’t have worried about that; the virus does not live on surfaces to any dangerous degree. What is even more thrilling and shocking, is that after all this talk about washing hands we are being told that that one is unlikely to get infected by them, either. This should — one would think — be good news. But here is the genius of this artful theory! The virus needn’t even be projected directly at you by another person talking loudly or singing — that of course can happen — but it needn’t be that. The virus lives all around us, like a puff of smoke— but invisible to the naked eye — and anyone may just walk into it, unawares. How then may we protect ourselves? Measures more severe even than masks can and will  be taken; there is much talk of HEPA filters for the very dangerous indoor air. But the sheer beauty of this theory is that though we once tried to differentiate between ‘social distancing’ and ‘physical distancing’ — because being social was once fine as long as we are physically distanced — now it appears that we must not be social, because, let’s face it, people are dangerous. The terror around schools  now becomes magnificent in a scarifying way. And what about love? We had always heard of ‘love-at-a-distance,’ of ‘love-in-the-imagination’ — of platonic love — where no touching was necessary —  where the mere image of the lover conjured up by ones ‘minds eye’ was enough to facilitate a solitary ecstasy. And indeed this may be the answer. For now we have — on our cellphones and our computers — a preponderance of virtual images, of virtual beloveds, some we know, some perfect strangers we have never actually seen or touched, and probably never will. And these virtual images offer no danger to our health. We can carry-on affairs of the heart with these digital creatures, in our imaginations, with impunity. What COVID is telling us is  irresistible (and  by the way, it will be very good for capitalism!). For it is not just possible -- but advisable  --to live primarily in a world that is not peopled, by actual — well, people. The lie becomes, in this way, enormous, all consuming, and somewhat irresistible. And who’s to say this lie is any less fantastic than what we believed for so many years? The lie that is now over, and I am so sad to see disappear? The lie that it now seems incredible we ever imagined could be real: the impossible fantasy we might find love in living flesh?