Friday, 3 November 2017
Sexual abuse is serious. Anthony Rapp’s accusation against Kevin Spacey may serve his career but it will do little to halt the sexual abuse of women -- because it sets up a false equivalency. By raising this issue at this particular time, Rapp’s abuse inevitably becomes part of the ‘Me Too’ campaign, implying that Harvey Weinsten and Kevin Spacey are somehow comparable.
They are not.
Harvey Weinstein is a rich white heterosexual man. Heterosexism gives him the power and in fact congratulates him on ‘conquering’ women. Kevin Spacey is a rich white homosexual man. He was in the closet until Anthony Rapp ‘outed’ him without Spacey’s consent. (Rumours about Spacey’s homosexual orientation were inflamed after an Esquire article in 1997. Spacey moved to London in order to avoid Hollywood homophobia.)
Gay men are part of an maligned and hated minority. Queer youth are still afraid to ‘come out’ to their parents; Gay/Straight Alliances are still contentious issues in high schools. The fact that Rapp was abused by a closeted gay man doesn’t excuse Spacey’s actions. But if we really wish to fight the abuse of women then we must dare to be unforgivingly critical of heterosexual culture and stop making false equivalencies. We must come to the painful understanding that male abuse of women is rooted in heterosexual sexism which can no longer be tolerated; it is not simply a ‘universal’ problem that everyone faces on daily basis.
Why did Anthony Rapp ‘out’ Kevin Spacey in this manner? It’s important to note that Rapp himself is not fully ‘out.’ He’s been playing the same game Spacey has been playing for years -- because like all gay actors in Hollywood, he is frightened by homophobia in the entertainment industry. He has been quoted as saying “I have been in loving relationships with men...I haven't said 'I am gay.’” Rapp wants us to know that -- unlike the ‘gay’ Spacey (meaning the lecherous, profligate Spacey) -- he is a good person (which means a loving, not very sexual person). And, let’s face it, Rapp is obviously quite thrilled to be famous. And like so many gay men today, he wants everyone to know that though he may not be straight, he is just the same as every straight person in practically every way.
Well, he’s not; he is part of a very different culture -- gay culture.
I was told recently by one of my students that young straight men these days actually speak of female sexual conquests as ‘kills.’
We might think about the implications of that.
And forget about the opportunistic Mr. Anthony Rapp.
Monday, 16 October 2017
Jackie Shane was gay. She was a drag queen.
It’s time to state the facts.
Lately her story has been appropriated by opportunistic academics who have misrepresented her as having been, historically, a ‘trans’ performer.
This is not simply a mistake; it’s homophobic.
Jackie Shane was, according to all witnesses, a brilliant drag singer/performer who was much beloved by the gay community in Toronto in the 60’s. She eventually moved back to her native Nashville; now her brilliance has been rediscovered and soon she will be coming back to Toronto to perform once again.
However, academics -- who often have a tendency to be out of touch with the truths of street culture -- have decided to take advantage of the resurgence of interest in Jackie Shane to advance their own trendy theories, and promulgate homophobia.
They are attempting to erase history by representing Shane’s story as that of a trans activist -- rather than as the history of a gay man and a drag queen.
Why am I concerned here with labels?
I am a gay man and a drag queen. Homophobia has increased in the last couple of years. I notice this in the context of what I call a rising ‘Fear of Drag Queens.’
Even Ru Paul has to deal with this. As in the old days of homophobia and anti-sexual feminism, drag queens are now being castigated for ‘nasty humour,’ and for ‘making fun of women,’ and even for ‘making fun of trans people.’
This is homophobic slander. Drag queens love women. They pay homage to them through drag -- and historically, they are the pioneers of the trans movement.
If Jackie Shane wishes to to become an icon for the -- very important -- modern transgender movement, more power to her.
But the historical facts are these. Jackie Shane was performing in drag long before the term ‘transgender’ even existed. When she performed in the 1960s ‘trans’ meant transexual. She represented herself as a gay man and a drag queen -- not as ‘trans’ -- and was known as such. She was a leading force -- as was Craig Russell -- in gay liberation, along with the drag queens at Stonewall.
Those are the historical facts.
And no amount of academic obfuscation can deny them.
Sunday, 8 October 2017
Okay so I know that lots of young men -- of all kinds -- have been doing drugs for a long time; nothing new there. But it seems to me that there is a crystal meth epidemic among young gay men.
I know this because -- now that I’m an old guy -- young guys are always asking me to buy TINA for them.
It makes sense to me though, to be on drugs, if you are a young and gay. Because I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a young gay man right now.
It seems to me that since bars and baths and parks and toilets and ‘gay men’s groups’ are over for gay men, there’s only two things left: online ‘dating’ apps and, well -- gay marriage.
(Of course I know that some young gay men do go to bars and bathhouses, but these places are generally thought of as being ‘over.’)
Because if all we have is online sex and marriage what kind of future is that?
I know that SCRUFF and SURGE can be fun but it sure is tough to live up to the expectations of online dating apps: most people looking for sex/love or ‘friends’ online don’t like fats or fems.
Can I be frank here? Most of us are just a little bit fat and a little bit fem. Not if you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger. Or Captain America. But the rest of us; the ordinary guys, well -- we’re all a little pudgy here and there, and yes now and then our wrists go limp and we just wanna be petulant.
Of course if the pressure of living up to the porn star ‘ab’ standard and the Sly Stallone masculinity standard doesn’t send you to crystal meth, then the pressure to get married will. We, as men (gay or straight) are socialized to capitalize on what our testosterone tries to tell us: that we must compete, and fight, and conquer -- and win. Unlike women, we are not socialized to be loving and caring; we are socialized to achieve. Good luck having a gay monogamous marriage! Monogamous marriage doesn’t work for most straights; I can’t see why it would work for gay men.
I certainly don’t long for the good old days. But back before AIDS there were not only gay bars but people were beginning to think that maybe there might be other gay social gathering places, and there was a sense of the possibility of meeting new people in a gay community that actually existed, in the real world. Gay coupling didn’t mean monogamy; and being a bit femmy was still part of being gay.
I know we’ve got the new Will and Grace and Ru Paul’s Drag Grace to remind us of the old days -- the days when everyone gay didn’t have to be perfectly masculine, built and/or perfectly married. But are those two shows enough to make us happy, healthy gay men?
All I can say is Good Luck To You, Young Gay Men!
Because unfortunately, you’re going to need it.
Monday, 4 September 2017
I don’t know what made me turn to HBO that night.
Yes I do. They usually show great stuff.
But this night it was Neil Patrick Harris’ Circus Awesomeus.
Let’s just talk about the Neil Patrick Harris thing. He is our one and only out-of-the-closet top level TV/Hollywood gay actor in 2017.
So what does he get to do?
Well, apparently, though straight people are increasingly tolerant these days they can’t handle real out-of-the-closet actors and actresses in gay or lesbian roles in mainstream movies. And they certainly can’t handle out gay actors in straight roles (the reviews always say ‘the chemistry wasn’t convincing’). But what they can handle is when we host. (See: Ellen!) We now host straight lives. After all, this our calling isn’t it? To facilitate the lives of straight people: serve them drinks, renovate their houses, and most importantly -- make them laugh?
But it isn’t just the host thing. The acts on Circus Awesomeous are -- almost without exception -- boring as hell. There is the ‘Beardyman’ who just makes boom box sounds as far as I can tell. It’s kinda like being very good at farting. It is this behaviour we should be rewarding him for? Then there’s the midget standup comic who I tried so hard to like, until I realized that the funniest thing he did was run. Yes, unfortunately his major talent seems to be displaying for us a body that is -- well, to most people -- odd. Then there is a large woman in a shiny dress who talks dirty. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against large women in shiny dresses who talk dirty -- some of my best friends are large women in shiny dresses who talk dirty. But the ones I know are actually funny.
The act that really tells it all about Circus Awesomeous is Sammy J and Randy -- an effeminate gay man who sings with a foul-mouthed redneck gay puppet. The puppet (of course they could never let a real gay guy do this on TV) shouts out the details of gay sex acts while the effeminate guy looks shocked.
I’ll tell you what this show is. it’s a taste of ‘homosexuality’ for straights. It’s kinda like the old days when they used to snicker and throw eggs at drag queens in the Pride Parade on Yonge Street. This show makes it all too evident that straights think we are a bunch of freaks. Nevertheless they welcome the opportunity for a voyeuristic peak into our titillating sex lives -- something Neil Patrick Harris allows them to do.
Sunday, 27 August 2017
I don’t know what to say about ATOMIC BLONDE. I wish I could be as terribly modern as everyone else and say that it’s a step in the right direction. No. Sorry. I know the attitude we’re supposed to have is to just take it for granted that Charlize Theron has a lesbian affair in the movie. She’s not a lesbian, though -- that would be old fashioned -- because the ‘Atomic Blonde’ of the movie’s title was in love with a man at the beginning -- at least that’s what’s insinuated. So Charlize Theron is not a lesbian in the movie then. She’s a bisexual -- no. She’s just....fluid. Right? Cuz sexuality is fluid, right? And if you are a modern-millennial-type person you will watch this movie and go -- ‘Oh yes, I get it. I didn’t even notice who’s having sex with who. That’s what a long way we’ve come, baby.’
Okay. Don’t get me wrong. I think the movie is incredibly stylish, gorgeous really, and addictively watchable. I mean I hate complicated plots and the plot of this movie sure is complicated but I still enjoyed it. (Who is ‘Satchel’ anyway?)
But dare I mention -- and you know me, the last thing I would want to do is upset anyone, but -- um, isn’t it kind of crazy that Charlize Theron is so incredibly proud that there is a lesbian sex scene in the movie? I mean when I google ‘ATOMIC BLONDE lesbian’ all that comes up is Charlize gushing about how much she loved doing the kiss with Sofia Boutella so....? I mean if lesbian sex is just well -- everywhere, and so accepted by everyone -- then why is Charlize so proud of herself for having lesbian sex in this movie?
And the fact that there is a ‘Charlize Theron and Sofia Boutella Kiss’ clip on youtube -- well I’m sure straight men aren’t jerking off to it. I mean this is not straight porn right? I mean this movie isn’t straight porn, if anything it’s lesbian porn, right? Or lesbian love, or something lesbian? Or bisexual? Or fluid? Yes, that’s it. It’s fluid porn.
But what I actually think this movie is, is violence porn. Charlize is kicking people’s heads in and the blood is gushing out -- practically every thirty seconds. Good for her, eh? I guess. She’s a strong woman then, I guess.
I mean come to think of it, I’ve convinced myself. I really think this is a step forward, not just for ‘moviekind’ but for ‘humankind’ everywhere.
And certainly for ‘womankind’
Yes, Charlize I congratulate you. Not since MONSTER have we seen such an important and forward-looking representation of a ‘fluidly sexed’ character. In MONSTER, you murdered men -- but in this movie you just kick them in the nuts over and over and over and over.
That’s a step forward, isn’t it?
Gee, I sure hope so.
Monday, 7 August 2017
Let me start by saying that if 5 Toronto gay men are indeed dead, and have been murdered by a serial killer during the last 5 years, then they and their families have my heartfelt sympathy. But that’s not what this article is about.
What upsets me is the way the problem of ‘missing gay men’ is being handled by the straight and gay communities at large.
I tuned into the CBC today, and there was lots of concern being expressed about these missing men.
Then, they posted a ‘profile’ of some of the men.
The physical description of each of the men was followed by this: ‘frequently used Grindr and Scruff phone apps.'
Now I wanted you to imagine, for a minute if several women had been found sexually assaulted and then murdered. And let’s say that information about them was posted on CBC and it said “known to be promiscuous” after several of the names.
There would be outrage, right?
But it’s okay if there’s a missing gay man to mention that he frequently went online looking for sex.
The CBC stated these ‘facts’ about the missing gay men’s private lives all in the name of helping out. The posting was followed by a lecture given by a member of the gay community saying things like “These apps can be dangerous. If you pick up someone online and something happens to you, there may be no way to trace you or find you. It’s a good idea, if you pick someone up online, to make sure and get their email, that way the person can be traced.”
Oh what a great idea. The next time somebody wants to go down on me, I’ll ask him to give me his email address, just in case.
This is homophobia pure and simple. What happened to us is this. AIDS appeared in the early 1980s. There was an anti-sex backlash. Gay men became afraid to pick up gay men in bars, they feared that they might get AIDS and die. But gay men do need to have sex with other gay men, and yes, sometimes they need sex that is outside of a conventional ‘relationship.’ So gay men began to look for sex on line. This offered not only convenience but secrecy: it’s not like walking out of a gay bar with someone; no one knows who you are having sex with or how often. And if the person you pick up is HIV positive or ‘sketchy’ you won’t have friends on your case about getting AIDS or being a slut, in an era when all gay men are supposed to be getting married. So, for awhile, gay men have had lots of sex by hooking up online.
But now, members of the straight community -- and uptight members of the gay community -- are declaring that online sex is dangerous.
The availability of PEP, and PrEP, pre and post-exposure prophylaxis (when utilized with condoms) have made it possible for gay men to have sex again without fear of dying of AIDS.
Anti-sex homophobes however (and some of those people can be gay men!) are now trying to stop that.
Thankyou, CBC for doing your bit to drive gay sex underground, and make gay men afraid again.
Friday, 21 July 2017
I was at the bar the other night (surprise) and a ‘being’ entered (I’m not sure how this person would identify but I thought she looked like a ‘she’) and she was butch, and I wasn’t sure whether she was male or female, so I looked at her breasts and she didn’t seem to have any (what is normally thought of as) female breasts, so I thought she might have identified as male....but I am pretty sure she had a vagina.
What is going on here?
Why does it suddenly sound so politically incorrect for me to wonder whether or not this being had a vagina?
My thesis is this: the trans movement devalues vaginas. (it also devalues penises, but penises are not really as important).
Can I can tell you something about vaginas? Vaginas are a big deal, and whether you have one -- or you don’t -- is big deal. Vaginas are important because:
a) you came from one
b) they give enormous pleasure
It’s hard to say which of these two is more important. I suggest ‘you came from one’ is important because no matter how queer or trans or whatever you are, nevertheless we all came out of vaginas and you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for a vagina, so it’s important that you don’t forget them.
The fact that a vagina gives enormous pleasure (to both the owner and the one who is the intruder into -- or whatever -- the vagina) is important too.
But the trans movement doesn’t seem to care.
Trans people say:
“It doesn’t matter whether you have a penis or vagina. It’s the person you love.” Or they say
“Genitals don’t matter”
I’m sorry, but they do.
Why do genitals matter? Because we are sexual people, and we have sex, and sex is involved with genitals, and generally speaking (I don’t know how to break the news to you but) people are interested in either penises or vaginas. Usually not both. But if they are interested in both, it’s not usually at the same time. But, if they are interested in both at the same time they still know (and this is very important) THE DIFFERENCE between a penis and a vagina.
VIVA LA DIFFERENCE!
I remember I had a friend once who was a female dyke who is now gender/sexuality indeterminate. When she was a female dyke she used to rant against scrotums. Yes she did. More power to her. I, personally, have always somewhat enjoyed scrotums, but I appreciated it that she did not. And I respected it. But ‘she’ (as a female person) is now gone. And the person she has become hasn't mentioned scotums in awhile.
The only way that trans activists have been able to get away with pretending that genitals don’t matter, is that they are taking advantage of the anti-sex times we live in (yes sex is everywhere on the web, but that doesn’t matter, we just pretend it isn’t there, the web has become a way for us to universally sublimate sex, pretend it doesn’t exist, because a lot of us have sex with our computers, and pretend no one knows!).
And frankly, I’m beginning to feel sorry for vaginas -- and for the women who are either are born with them, or somehow acquire them on the way -- because they are being devalued too.
As if women don’t have enough trouble already, without us further devaluing their vaginas.
So I say -- be trans, be gay, bi. lesbian queer whatever.
But let me just say vaginas are important, and they mean something.
(And just for the record, the same is true of penises, too.)