An ‘Ava’ is as ubiquitous as a ‘Karen’

perhaps more so. ‘Karen’ — as we all know by now — is a slang term for a white woman of privilege — someone who thinks she deserves the best of everything. She is demanding and right-wing, perhaps an anti-vaxxer. Wikipedia says the term has become synonymous with.’middle-aged white woman’ which suggests it’s not only sexist but ageist, as it also means ‘bitch.’ An ‘Ava’ is a left wing version of the same thing; but she’s really not the same at all. (I chose ‘Ava’ because I didn’t want to use 'Eve,' as that would be damning all women). The Ava is most commonly employed in politics, academia, or the arts, but you can find her anywhere you find well-meaning, left-leaning people. What distinguishes an “Ava’ from a ‘Karen’ is not only her political views, but the fact that an Ava is definitely not a bitch. She is not rude, quick to anger, or even remotely contrary. You might very well think you are close friends with an Ava. Butter does not melt in the mouth of an Ava; she really is very reasonable, fun, cheery, and seemingly malleable. She even seems to have a sense of humour (but there are, believe me, limits). Such behaviour is de rigueur for left-leaning persons — who generally wish to appear as just ‘folks’ (they use that term a lot these days) — as generous — as opposed to appearing like cold-hearted, greedy right-wing persons. So in one’s daily interactions they are inevitably nice. In other words an Ava is invisible — and quite appealing, until she reaches her breaking point, and that can happen at any time — and believe me there will be no warning. I knew an Ava once who let me chatter on for hours about love and sex (she used to give me rides to work) and then finally at some point — I think it was when I used the word ‘boy’ to refer to a male person (‘boy’ is a term that gay men often use for anyone under 30 — or for anyone who is considerably younger than them. It is not, as in heterosexist culture, a term for a child — nor is it used in diminution or as abuse, on the contrary it often implies great praise). Anyway, I was talking to her about my sexual partners, so I was certainly not talking about a child or even a teenager. But suddenly this Ava was very concerned.” You’re not talking about pederasty are you?” I told her that I was not. And I continued talking.  “I don’t really feel comfortable talking about this, because I have two little girls.” I can’t think what her two little girls would have to do with my crazy debauched love life, but a dark curtain had been drawn; her demeanour was suddenly very severe, and I felt very hurt. I never quite felt comfortable talking with her about anything personal again, and generally came to understand that she saw me only as an old middle-class man; that is I was necessarily an exploitative patriarchal figure, someone not to be trusted, someone from the ‘other side.’ As well all know, this tendency to classify people as either being on one side or the other is a relatively recent development, at least in friendship situations. It used to be a big thing on TV in political debates, but one didn’t expect it do come up while having tea or being driven to work in a friend's Volkswagen. Nowadays someone’s attitude can shift from lovely to malignant with no warning, that is until an Ava lets you know (and believe me, she will). So what is an Ava, exactly? She is a middle-class white woman of enormous privilege, but the hallmark of her personality — the defining feature, is that she does not see herself as a privileged or an ‘entitled’ person, whereas most likely you  — are (at least in her eyes). It’s a tall order to count as ‘lacking privilege’ for an Ava — one would necessarily have to be female, deaf, and perhaps in some other way also — disabled — and a recent immigrant from the third world, and perhaps a trans person? — to qualify. Since the Ava lives her life in the tangled web of victim politics (where so many practice to deceive) she is quick to judge, although, as I say, you may not know you have been judged until you have been cancelled, called out, publicly denounced on Facebook or until, as in my case, she won’t pick you up in her car anymore. But I haven’t really made the defining feature clear. The Ava is not merely politically correct, she is devoted to supporting — but much more importantly speaking for people of colour, trans people, the disabled, etc. — those on the margins of our society. No one can deny that these people need speaking up for, and normally I am quite happy to support anyone who supports those who do not have a voice — but the Ava is unique for not only appropriating the voice of those less fortunate than herself, but for building her life and career on representing them, to the point where she believes she is one of them and that her privilege has been erased.  I know a woman on Facebook who refuses to go to a party if it does not have a certain quota of people of colour (I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure it’s more than 50%). On the one hand, I’m not a fan of white only, un-diverse parties (when I do go to parties) but announcing your virtue everywhere and shaming others who do not agree is nauseating and that is what an Ava, when riled, will do. And it is the ‘riling’ that is a nightmare, for when an Ava rages free — bounding from her self-imposed cage of left-wing sweetness, and comes at you fangs bared, it's an appalling experience-- for you realize that ice runs in her veins. Didn’t you actually like each other? Haven’t you been, to some degree — intimate? But now because she is virtue-signalling her way to becoming the first NDP female prime minister she is all too eager to throw your intimacy under the bus. Nancy Pelosi’s daughter once said her mother could “cut off your head and you won’t even now you are bleeding” and though I adore Pelosi’s politics (and thank God she was there to impeach Trump) these are the tactics of an Ava. I won’t recite any more personal incidents, and please don’t try and figure out who I’m talking about. Ava’s are everywhere these days (it could be anyone) — kind as hell, but waiting to pounce. And when it happens, you will feel not only be depressed and betrayed but deeply shocked at how inhuman human beings can be. I prefer a Karen, when it comes down to it -- at least you know where you stand. When someone openly lies about themselves it should be celebrated and acknowledged as a beguiling and brilliant performance; the tragedy comes only when they  intend us to mistake such lies for truth.