I don’t know what to say about ATOMIC BLONDE. I wish I could be as terribly modern as everyone else and say that it’s a step in the right direction. No. Sorry. I know the attitude we’re supposed to have is to just take it for granted that Charlize Theron has a lesbian affair in the movie. She’s not a lesbian, though -- that would be old fashioned -- because the ‘Atomic Blonde’ of the movie’s title was in love with a man at the beginning -- at least that’s what’s insinuated. So Charlize Theron is not a lesbian in the movie then. She’s a bisexual -- no. She’s just....fluid. Right? Cuz sexuality is fluid, right? And if you are a modern-millennial-type person you will watch this movie and go -- ‘Oh yes, I get it. I didn’t even notice who’s having sex with who. That’s what a long way we’ve come, baby.’
Yeah.
Okay. Don’t get me wrong. I think the movie is incredibly stylish, gorgeous really, and addictively watchable. I mean I hate complicated plots and the plot of this movie sure is complicated but I still enjoyed it. (Who is ‘Satchel’ anyway?)
But dare I mention -- and you know me, the last thing I would want to do is upset anyone, but -- um, isn’t it kind of crazy that Charlize Theron is so incredibly proud that there is a lesbian sex scene in the movie? I mean when I google ‘ATOMIC BLONDE lesbian’ all that comes up is Charlize gushing about how much she loved doing the kiss with Sofia Boutella so....? I mean if lesbian sex is just well -- everywhere, and so accepted by everyone -- then why is Charlize so proud of herself for having lesbian sex in this movie?
And the fact that there is a ‘Charlize Theron and Sofia Boutella Kiss’ clip on youtube -- well I’m sure straight men aren’t jerking off to it. I mean this is not straight porn right? I mean this movie isn’t straight porn, if anything it’s lesbian porn, right? Or lesbian love, or something lesbian? Or bisexual? Or fluid? Yes, that’s it. It’s fluid porn.
But what I actually think this movie is, is violence porn. Charlize is kicking people’s heads in and the blood is gushing out -- practically every thirty seconds. Good for her, eh? I guess. She’s a strong woman then, I guess.
I mean come to think of it, I’ve convinced myself. I really think this is a step forward, not just for ‘moviekind’ but for ‘humankind’ everywhere.
And certainly for ‘womankind’
Yes, Charlize I congratulate you. Not since MONSTER have we seen such an important and forward-looking representation of a ‘fluidly sexed’ character. In MONSTER, you murdered men -- but in this movie you just kick them in the nuts over and over and over and over.
That’s a step forward, isn’t it?
Gee, I sure hope so.
