Friday, 26 August 2016

Overheard Conversation: Donald Trump and Kellyanne Conway

I want to say she's a a bigot.

You can’t say that.

Why not?


Because why?

Because it’s not a good idea.


But she called me a bigot.

Yes, but just because she called you a bigot, doesn’t mean you should call her one.

Why not?

I told you, it’s not a good idea.


What about if…if I say I won’t deport all the Mexicans.

You would say that?

Sure, I would say that.

You would?

Yes. For sure. If  I can call Hilary Clinton a bigot.


But if you call Hilary Clinton a bigot, you have to have a reason.

I have a reason.


She didn’t help them.

That’s not enough.

Why not. 

When didn’t she help them?

Whenever. In the…past…she had a powerful position, she was running this country, and the blacks aren’t doing any  better. Why can’t I say that?

Okay Don’t say ‘blacks.’ Don’t ever say ‘blacks.’

Why not.

African Americans. Say it with me. Right now.

Okay, okay. (pause) African Americans.  (pause)  But why can’t I say she’s ignoring African Americans then?

Because ignoring African Americans is not really bigotry.

Why not?

It’s just not.


Look, what about if I say, okay, we’ll let the Mexicans stay and they’re not bad people,they’re good people and maybe just maybe, there’s a path to citizenship and…and I’m sorry I hurt their feelings.

You’ll say you’re sorry?

Yes, I will. I’ll say…I’ll say — I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I’ll say I have feelings. I feel for them. The Mexican people.

You’d say that?

Yes of course. Of course I’d say that. I’d say that in a heartbeat. I’d say that now.


But I really want to call Hilary a bigot. 

Why? why are you so obsessed with calling Hilary Clinton a bigot?

I told you, she called me one.

Come on. That’s schoolyard stuff.

I don’t care. It’s what I want to do.


So…you’re willing to give amnesty to the Mexicans?

I’ll give them whatever they want. Whatever the Mexicans want, I’ll give them..

Really? Amnesty?

Sure. Amnesty. If that’s what they want. If that’s what you want.

Well maybe we shouldn’t say amnesty. But you can say you have feelings for them.

Okay. I can do that.

And you regret…

I should say, regret?

Yes you can say you regret. You’re not sorry, you regret. (pause) 

But -- dammit. (pause) Shit. 


They'll say it’s a flipflop.

If they do, that’s not a problem.



Why not?

We’ll just say it’s not a flipflop.

I should just deny it you mean.


I should deny it just like that?

Just like that. That’s not a problem.  If they ask us if it’s a flipflop we’ll just say, a candidate's opinions evolve. Especially a thoughtful candidate, who listens to his constituents. A candidate like Donald Trump. In fact, it could be a good thing for you to change your position.

Okay. Makes sense to me.. (pause) So I can say Hilary Clinton is a bigot?




Yes. This morning if you like.

High five?

High five.