1. Really Fabulously Awful Please Run Don’t Walk……
The Vow. OMG! (ROFL) I’m telling you this box office smash is the most enjoyable piece of garbage made to please 13 year old girls that Hollywood has come up with since they broke the bed on their wedding night in the last Twilight movie! I was entranced! In the much celebrated ‘vow’ of the title, Channing Tatum says “I will promise to love you faithfully,” but because of his lack of good old-fashioned theatre school articulation training it comes out “I will promise to love you facially” which of course makes a lot of sense (if you watch porn). OMG! Channing Tatum farts in a car and Rachel McAdams closes the window so she can smell it! I’M NOT KIDDING! (That’s intimacy for you!) Okay one small quibble (it’s more of a kibble, actually…). There is no way that any self-respecting woman (or homosexual) would ever let Channing Tatum sleep naked on the couch instead of in bed where he belongs -- amnesia or not!
So there!
2. Good For 13 Year Old Boys And Me
Chronicle. Wow I really enjoyed this movie. What does that say about me? I liked watching all those boys flying and then I liked watching them come to the difficult realization that they have to be more careful with their superpowers. It was kind of all about growing up. Kind of about my own life actually.
Hmmm….
` 3. Wish It Was Better
We Need To Talk About Kevin. Too arty. And why doesn’t the kid look like his Dad at all? But I guess that happens. Unfortunately I kinda started laughing even when I wasn’t supposed to. The problem for me was the little boy who turns out to be (oops, spoiler alert!) a serial killer is a lot like most of my best friends. But to its credit, this movie brings up the elephant in the room for me (and I think everyone). How come family members are always supposed to like each other? I mean, what if they don’t? And who said they had to?
Was it God?
4. Ummm…I dunno
W.E. I really don’t want to trash Madonna because I love her and I honestly think if someone else had directed this movie it would have gotten way better reviews. That said.….um…I think she wanted to make a movie about spousal abuse but somehow ended up making a film about The Duchess of Windsor by mistake. What she needed was someone to say “Which movie do you want to make, Madonna? Decide or else it will be a fucking mess.” But she divorced him, so….
Oh well.
