Tuesday, 31 January 2012

More Mini - Reviews

1. Kinda Shite
Monsieur Lazhar. Okay how can you be against a movie that is all about dealing with death? Well you can if the movie is filled with endearing kids (my least favorite thing) and has no sex (my most favorite thing) at all. Well I SUPPOSE this movie is kinda well done. I think what pissed me off was that all the old people around me were loving it too much and it was sold out and they were acting like it was The English Patient or something and they all thought I was chewing my popcorn too loud. Jeesh.

2. Really Shite
A Dangerous Method – I’m sorry I fell asleep because I already know all that stuff about Freud and Jung I mean do I really want a lecture? A dumb movie for pseudo-smart people. Or is it supposed to be news that people get off on spanking each other? Uh, duh!

War Horse – And I promised a friend I will see the play. I hope the damn puppets are fucking good! The horse in this movie is not a character, as in i.e. human. I mean the horse kinda looks at the camera now and then -- but it could also be looking at a fly or the movie trainer’s shiny new apple. The boy in it is cute but hardly worth the price of admission. What a waste of Emily Fucking Watson! I understand (she needed the money). Okay. I did cry a bit. But I’m not proud of that….

3. Oh God The Best Movie You Will Ever See Except You’ll Never See It Because of Our Misogynistic World…

  1. Tyrannosaur
Please run, don’t walk to see this one. It is a perfect movie. And it’s not about a cranky old guy like the advertising suggests. It’s about women and abuse, and it has a stellar actress in the role of  the abusee (Olivia Colman who is also in Iron Lady but much better in this). This is a truly feminist film made by a male auteur. I was drawn to it because there are people on Rotten Tomatoes who just HATE it and call it beyond depressing and disgusting. It is. That’s why I like it.

  1. Haywire
Another Fabulous Feminist Movie By A Male Auteur! Wow. If you enjoy seeing women kick men around you’ll love this (and I don’t just mean the male hetero pervs, they will sure like it and more power to them! I mean actually women, and fags who like seeing men kicked around -- this flick will be your cup of tea!). I now worship at the alter of Gina Carano! The best line in the movie and the only one in ANY movie lately to make me laugh out loud was when Michael Fassbender said about Gina Carano “I’ve never ‘done’ a woman’ (meaning ‘I’ve never killed a woman’) and Ewan McGregor responded (and this is NOT a spoiler don’t worry) -- “You shouldn’t think of her as a woman. That would be a mistake.”